This morning I had the chance to go speak to the FCA at Madison Central High School. I love going into the schools and interacting with students on their turf. I shared some thoughts about a scripture verse that I've heard all my life, but I'm still trying to figure it out and it's meaning. The scripture is Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Now I know this verse and have heard it thousands of times...but I was honest with them as I'll be honest with you, I'm trying to figure it out and how it really works...how it really plays into our lives.
I used my summer experience of a near drowning of one of our youth at our high school camp...how is God going to work in that? Now I can see some things in how He's been working, but dang what a price.
I think about my son Bryan and all the crap that he's gone through...how is God going to work in this? This one has stumped me...and I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to be honest and not just give the Sunday school answer, etc. I think it's beyond that.
In my office I've put this scripture up where I see it all day...I'm trying to meditate on this, and...figure it out.
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It's strange how we are thinking alike these days... guess it's how it works in marriage, huh? This morning, I was thinking about that same passage and asking God to tell me HOW this is working for His good. I trust Him; I just don't get Him all the time. I have some scripture on the wall at my desk, one of which is from Jeremiah,and I think that God is telling me today that this is part of how it all works together.
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you to myself with unfailing love. I will rebuild you. You will again be happy and dance merrily with tambourines" (Jer. 31:3-4)
I think that we are in the "rebuilding phase", particularly with Bryan. I don't get what is happening, and I have to admit that I am really ticked off about it all. But I know that sometimes when things are being rebuilt, they aren't recognizable until they are finished. I think that is how it is with God sometimes. We can't recognize that it is Him at work until the whole thing is finished. I don't know... maybe I am wrong. I am just trying to hear Him. In the clutter of my mind, it's hard to know what is His voice sometimes.
I was just praying for a good friend last night who is coming up on his one year anniversary of being diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was thinking about the same things.
My pastor is building a new house, and he keeps his blueprints close to him at all times. One of his favorite things to do is pull them out and show people how beautiful his house will be. But I confess, I can't translate what i see on those papers, into what will eventually materialize on the lot. All i can see is that there is an awful lot of work and money being sinked into something that looks like a big mudhole. I just can't deny what my eyes see, and visualize what will be there. My brain don't work that way.
sometimes in a moment of honesty, i'll look at my pastor and say, "i don't get it", or "wouldn't it be better to do it another way?" then he sits down and explains it to me why it has to be done a certain way. Truthfully, most of the time i still don't get it and I think that my way is whole lot better. But i guess he has done this a lot more than me.
our earthborne tunnel vision is pityful at best. I just don't get it most days, but i trust that i will some day.
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
I Corinthians 13:12
As a friend of mine reminded me...the word "good" (Romans 8:28) doesn't always mean without suffering and painfree. I do understand that...but there's something about watching your son in pain...I don't see how God did that when His son was suffering. Man, what an incredible God.
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